Carson Joseph Cysewski

May 30, 2012

4 pounds, 2 ounces

18-1/4 inches long

Born at 7:35 p.m. at Deaconess Medical Center.

I started having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions at about 1:30 – 2:00.   They started getting more and more intense right around 3:00, so I stopped work early and took a bath.  I had had diarrhea for the past 3 days, so I thought that what I was feeling was these.  Well, we went to our manager’s house and by the time we came back, I had taken a turn for the worst.  They started hurting worse and coming  every 2 to 3 minutes.  I called the doctor on call and he said to get into the hospital.  Nick was at work and I had to call and get him out of his case.  Neighbor Jessica brought me to the hospital and stayed with me until Nick got there.  She was a huge help!  Anyway, I got dressed in my gown and then laid down on the bed.  The contractions kept coming and there was a constant sharp pain in my lower abdomen, right where my previous surgical scar was.  They said I looked really pale and the on-call doctor thought that I had placental abruption and that I had lost blood from internal bleeding.  Carson’s heart beat was kindof low and that really concerned the doctors.  We elected to proceed with the emergency c-section.  Because of the urgency, they at first wanted to do general anesthesia.  If they would have done that, Nick would not have been able to be in the room with me.  TENDER MERCY.  Also, the doctor was worried about not having enough beds because they were really, really busy.  Once the nurses and doctor realized how serious my condition was, I had 5 or 6 nurses all around me helping to get me ready to go into surgery.  They were all busy, but they all had a break of some sorts, so they were all able to come help.  TENDER MERCY. 

Once I was back into the room, things went even faster.  From the first incision until Carson was actually born was 3 minutes.   A lot of the nurses said that was the fastest they’ve ever seen a C-section done.  TENDER MERCY. 

Once they were in, sure enough, Dr. Richards was right; I had lost a lot of blood internally, about 1 liter’s worth of blood.  They got Carson out and  started to stitch me up.  He hardly made a sound, he didn’t really cry at all.  The pediatric nurses took really good care of him, and Nick got to cut the cord.  They then rushed him off to the NICU  and Nick went with them while I was being put back together.  I only got to see just a glimpse of him before the took him away. 

There were so many small miracles that happened and I am SO grateful to my Heavenly Father for getting us through this.  I know the fight is not over yet and that we have a lot of work to do, but my Savior will be there with both of us, all of us really, through this trial. 

It’s been really neat to watch Carson grow these past couple days.  He’s doing better with his breathing and he doesn’t have to have the Cpap on, he’s breathing on his own now which is great.  He’s starting to learn to feed with a bottle, but until he is pro at it, he still has the feeding tube in through his nose.  He still has an IV in his tiny little hand and they’re giving him basically preemie Gatorade.  It has been really neat to see him with his daddy, he always calms right down and is so happy and content when he’s holding him.  Its really sweet to watch.

I was holding him the other day and I started telling him about his big brother and big sister.  I guess he’s excited to meet them because he smiled really big.  TENDER MERCY.  He’s such a special little boy, I can already feel his giant spirit.  He is going to do some great things in this world and be so important to so many people. 

It’s definitely going to be hard to leave him here tomorrow, and I’ll probably cry the whole way home, but I know he’s in good hands.  I’ve been really blessed to be able to feel all the prayers from all our family and friends from all over and I’m so grateful for everyone who has sent a prayer in our behalf.  It really does help!  I will keep everyone updated on his progress and hopefully he can come home soon!

A Silent Miracle.

I have wondered lately about tender mercies. We are given them more than we know. We have been told to serve others and if at all possible, to keep our service anonymous. Serve in secret. This leads me to wonder how often the Lord serves us without even knowing it. I believe I had one such experience last night.

After dinner, my children were a mess, naturally. So, I decided to bathe them. I was extremely distracted for some reason, and Nick wasn't feeling well, so thankfully my beloved sister Katie came to the rescue. She walked in the bathroom and started making her goo-goo eyes at Jordin. I left to go get Jaxon so he could join his sister in the tub. I completely forgot to turn the water off so the tub filled up a little too much. I kindly asked Katie to let some water out and forgot about it. Kate left to go do her makeup or something and I was left with my babies.

No big deal.

I was confident that my kids would be ok for 10 seconds while I went to get some clothes for Jordin so I could get her out. My kids are nuts in the tub sometimes. They like to throw toys and bang and splash, so the noise I heard during that 10 seconds was nothing out of the normal. For a split second I didn't think anything about it. I then had a strange experience. I felt and heard the word "RUN". Nick was asleep-ish and there I was alone in the room besides him. Without hesitation, I booked it to the bathroom to find something that will give any mother a heart attack. My baby was on her back with only her mouth out of the water. Her eyes were huge and she had a look of absolute panick on her face. I quickly scooped her up and to my surprise, she wasn't even choking. She looked up at me with her goofy smile like nothing had happened.

OK.....

It took me a few minutes to calm down, for my heart rate to go back to normal, and to take in what had just happened. I explained to Nick what had just happened and we thought we were pretty blessed to have such an amazing experience in following the spirit. I said a small prayer of gratitude and hugged and kissed her like never before. Little did I know at that time, it went a little deeper than that. I got the kids dressed and we headed to the TV to watch BYU take on San Diego State (Amazing game, by the way). If anyone reading this knows about Jimmer Fredette, you know how captivating his game can be. He played so well that the game took my complete attention and I completely forgot about what had just happened.

Then 2:30 a.m. happened.

Jaxon woke up with a vengeance in the middle of the night. I think he must have had a nightmare or something. Anyway, he wet his pants so I had to change him and everything so by the time I got him back in bed, I was wide awake. Awesome. Sometimes when I can't sleep I like to list things I am grateful for. I started doing that and I remembered the previous night's events. I stopped to think more in depth about what had happened and a few things ran through my mind.

1. Katie followed the spirit without really knowing it. If she had let out any less water than she did, it could have been fatal. I had a very very VERY strong impression that it would have been. It was almost like a voice telling me that I could have lost my baby tonight. I am extremely grateful for a faithful sister who listens to the spirit and is worthy to have it with her.

2. I got to the bathtub just in time. I felt very impressed that if I would have waited just 1 more second to get up and run, that also could have been fatal. That noise wasn't anything abnormal. So what made me get up and run as fast as I did?

After these 2 thoughts crossed my mind, I began to have a small panick attack. I couldn't breath, my heart was racing, but I felt more gratitude than anything else. I could literally feel the arms of my Savior around me, and him telling me through the spirit what had really taken place that night. Without the spirit, my baby would be gone. All these things took place enough for me to recognize it at the time, but when I really stopped to think about it, I was blessed with more information about what REALLY happened.

The spirit saved my baby's life.

There is no doubt in my mind that the spirit is real. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus Christ lives and that he is watching out for us. He blesses us and guides us even when we have no idea. He has a plan and anything and everything that happens in our lives is all part of his plan. He knows us so well. He knew how distracted I was, so he sent Katie upstairs. He knew everything. He knows everything. I am so grateful for this experience. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true, it is real, it is for all people. I can't imagine my life without Jordin and I feel that I will be forever in His debt for letting her stay with us.

So here is a challenge to both of you who read this: Pay special attention to the spirit. If you wonder if it is really you or if it is in fact the spirit prompting you, never hesitate. Even if it is something that seems small and insignificant, it may not be in the end.

My baby girl.

So, a little over a year later, I'm ready for another post. But first, for both of you who read this and already know about Jordin, just to satisfy the inner OCD in me, I must tell about my sweet baby J. She was born March 25th 2010 at 8:04 pm at St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center in Boise. She was delivered via C-section performed by Dr. Mary Janowiak. Everything went well and she was absolutely beautiful from the first second we saw her. The surgery was supposed to start at 5 pm, but the doctor got caught up in another case and made us wait for 3 hours. We didn't mind too much though, because we had march madness to enjoy :)

She was 6 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long. We have loved watching our little baby grow and melt our hearts each and every day. I'm sorry it took me so long to announce her birth, but with 2 kids, blogging isn't exactly #1 on my priority list! :)

My walking child!

Once upon a time, a little boy named Jaxon decided that crawling was a bit overrated. So, he strapped up his walking shoes and took off! Now, he's living happily ever after walking around and causing his mother grief. We love our little boy so much, and we're proud of him! Enjoy!

Family Pictures

We took some family pictures when we were home
for Christmas. Here are some of my favorites. :)

I think this is the best family picture we've ever taken. Jaxon was a little sleepy...

The two prego's. Kindof humiliating...

Da boys

I just love this picture, Rachel is too cute!

Grandma and Grandpa with their adorable grandchildren.

Da grills. And yes, Darcy is the oldest...

All of us minus Nick, who was taking the picture.

All of us minus Ben, who was taking the picture..

All because two people fell in love :)

Flying home

So I'm finally posting pictures from our excursion up North. It was so much fun to see our families again! We're so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives, and we love you all more than you'll ever know! Enjoy!

Jaxon was a little sad to leave...
Oh I love these people!

I love these people too! Cute family pic on the boardwalk!

Uncle Spencer and Action Jaxon. They bonded:)

We had a birthday party for Jax while we were there. It was a lot of fun, but I think he was more interested in the boxes and wrapping paper!

We went to a Chief's game and it was 'toss-a-bear' night. When the Chiefs scored their first (and only) goal, everyone threw teddy bears on the ice that they had brought from home to donate to charity. It was really cool watching all those bears fly out onto the ice. It took 3 pickup trucks to take them all out and then some! Soooo many bears!

Thanks Ben for the tickets, we had a ton of fun!

We were able to bring Nick's family along with us. It was lots of fun!

Ben also got us tickets to an Eastern Washington basketball game. Even if it was a women's game, it was still a lot of fun. We had the best roadtrip ever going out there, then we got a pizza for $3! You can't beat that!

Recognize this horse? He was able to sit on it a little better this time:)

Happy Birthday Mr. Jaxon!

Wow I can't believe that one year ago we were still waiting for Mr. Jaxon to come, going through labor, surgery and finally holding this sweet little boy in our arms for the very first time. This year has gone by extremely fast and we have loved having our little boy in our home. He has brought so much happiness and laughter to our home! This post is a tribute to my sweet little boy! We love you Jax!

He has always been a very good-natured, well-behaved kid.
He doesn't cry very often, even when he was brand new.

He has always been an extremely happy child. He always wakes up smiling and laughing (very ulike his mother), and just about anything will make him crack a big lovable grin. His smile is contagious and he makes everyone around him so happy.

He lets us dress him up in funny things and laugh at his expense.
It's almost like he can sense that he's the center of attention and he LOVES it!

He is so interested in the little things of life. I know all babies are like this, but it's a neat lesson we can learn from them. He doesn't take things for granted, he's happy about everyday life. He enjoys what he has and doesn't get upset about the things he doesn't have. Unless he's hungry.....

Let's be honest...the kid is ridiculously good looking!
He's going to be a heart breaker someday!

He has such a special, sweet spirit. After his blessing, a lady in our ward came up to Nick and told him that she could feel that Jaxon has a very special spirit. I've felt it from before day 1. There is no doubt in my mind that he's extremely close to the spirit and that the Lord has something great planned for him on this Earth. So...no pressure, right?

I think most kids hate their carseats. Jaxon, not so much. He's never really minded his carseat. In fact, he usually falls asleep in it. Good boy!

He is one strong kid! He tried holding his head up at the hospital the day he was born. I used to call him 'mommy's little linebacker' before he was born, and for good reason! He'll be some sort of football player someday, I'm sure!

Again, he's just happy all the time. He had croup this week, and even through all that, he was still smiling and laughing. He couldn't breathe, talk, cry, or laugh, but he smiled through it all. What an example!

There are just little things he does every day that
just make us smile and giggle a little bit... :)

I believe that he understands reverence in a way that we don't. I think this is part of the reason why he is so calm and well-behaved. He did this with his hands by himself at the hospital, by the way...

And here is my kiddo today. Just to show you how much he's grown, that is the outfit we brought him home from the hospital in. It used to be too big for him! He's grown so much in so many ways and has taught me so many valuable lessons. I love my baby so much, and my love for him grows every single day. I hope I can continue to learn from him often, and help him become the person that Heavenly Father wants him to become. Happy Birthday Champ! We love you!